Greetings! It is Friday! This is my blog! Welcome!
Since no one cares when you tell them in person about weird dreams you’ve had, I’m going to tell you here about a recent one of mine, because you clicked on this post and you have only yourself to blame. Reader, I had a dream that I had a baby, so in other words, I had a nightmare. Even weirder was the fact that I hadn’t told anyone I was going to have a baby, so after it was born, I revealed the news — including pictures of the spawn — in a very dramatic blog post. I recall thinking, “Wow, what a great way to increase blog traffic,” in case you mistook me for someone who actually values the creation of an entire human life.
Fortunately for us all, this is not that post. I mean, check back in a decade, but for now we here at hilliterate dot com continue to live in self-absorbed, childless bliss. You might be thinking, bliss? That doesn’t sound like the anxious depressive we know and love! So okay, “bliss” is a strong word. But y’all, I’m here today to tell you that life is good.
How boring of me, right? Throw your tomatoes if you please. I will probably collect them and make them into a delicious pasta sauce as a metaphor for how coolly I take everything in stride these days.
A few days ago, I turned 26. Given that the only significant thing that happens at 26 is that one gets kicked off one’s parents’ health insurance, this birthday could’ve been a real downer. But frustration with the American healthcare model aside, what I’ve felt more than anything is gratitude. This is the obligatory moment in every blog post about myself where I remind you that it’s been a rough few years. Pick through the ol’ archive if you need a refresher. And it’s not like a switch has flipped and suddenly everything is perfect and amazing. But I am truly feeling the most peaceful, content, ~settled~ that I have…well, certainly in all of adulthood. Which may not sound exciting, but reader, it effing rules.
Since all of the wonderful travels of the summer died down, I’m pleased to report that I got a job. I pretty much didn’t think that would happen right up until the day it did. And not only is it a job, but it’s a job I really, really like. I’m only about a month in, but it’s been a dang good month.
People, it’s the wildest thing, being in a job I enjoy this much. I spent the first couple of weeks on edge, thinking okay, when does the other shoe drop? When are they gonna tell me about all the stressful parts? When am I going to see that all these super nice people actually hate it here because it can’t possibly be as good and pleasant as it seems? Well, as my friend Katie so eloquently put it, it’s possible that there is no other shoe. Or there is only one leg. Or something like that. I don’t know, it was funny when she said it and brought to mind Amy Poehler’s iconic mid-2000s SNL character, Amber, who was “rockin’ one leg.” Familiarize yourself here. Admittedly, it was funnier circa 2005.
Yeah, so this job is rockin’ one leg. I am constantly trying to keep my chill about it, to not freak out my coworkers by revealing how awesome I find almost everything there and to minimize the amount that I compare things favorably to past jobs I’ve had. I mostly save that stuff for when I get home and squeal at Stephen, “GUESS WHAT HAPPENED AT WORK TODAY IT’S SO GREAT I LOVE IT SO MUCH I DON’T KNOW HOW I EVEN GOT HERE WHAT IS MY LIFE” and he squeals back because thank G his girlfriend is not a puddle of career-related-depression at long last and then the concerned neighbors come by because they think we’re torturing small pigs in here by all the squealing. That last part hasn’t actually happened yet, but it’s only a matter of time. But really, great people, easygoing atmosphere, feeling like I make actual, helpful contributions each day, plus being around books to boot… living the bar-so-low-it-was-basically-on-the-ground dream.
So yes, I am ridiculously grateful going into this 27th year on earth. Grateful for this place I’ve landed after a long, stressful job hunt and longer, more stressful stretch of years of gigs that made me miserable more often than not. Grateful for all of the people who put up with me in those challenging times, who always believed I’d find something I liked to do even when I thought they were kidding us both, who sent me Indeed listings and other career ideas even when I shot them down. Grateful for this sense of hope and optimism (freaking optimism!) that I have when I think about the future nowadays. I know it’s all new and shiny and some of these good vibes will likely wear off, and this is the weirdest Oscar acceptance speech you’ve ever heard from someone who hasn’t won an Oscar, but let me bask.
But wait, you may wonder, what about The Writing Thing? Has Kaitlyn finally accepted that her destiny is to be a mediocre part-time unpaid blogger forever? Ha, you thought! Nuh uh, my dream bubble has not yet burst. If anything, having a happy day job setup (that is, mind you, part-time) has given me a surprising increase in energy and enthusiasm for writing in my free time. Not as much for the blog, clearly, as for my Super Secret Projects That May Never See The Light Of Day But Could Also Make My Dreams Come True Only Time Will Tell.
The title is a work in progress.
Thank you, as ever, for sticking around on this wacky ride with me. Thank you for showing me support even when I am one sorry sonofabiscuit to be around. Thank you for not rubbing it in my face that ha ha everyone else was right and I was wrong about never finding work that would make me happy ever. You can do that, though. I’m okay with being wrong in this case.
I’m going to try and get back to more frequent blogging, but would you believe that finding things to write about is oddly difficult when I’m just chillin’ and not incredibly angsty? There are always books, though. So many books. Hope your reading eyes are ready.
May you have a wonderful weekend filled with biscuits and Amy Poehler clips…